Give the gift of golf this Father’s Day

POTTY PUTTER

Why waste time on the toilet, when you can use it to get ready for the U.S. Open! Potty Putter contains everything you need for an exciting round of golf while you are waiting for nature to takes its course. Potty Putter begins with a custom-shaped PUTTING GREEN that sits around your toilet. It also has a cup with a flag, a specially-sized putter, and 2 golf balls. And since you’re likely to spend a LOT more time in the john, you also get an OCCUPIED SIGN to hang on the doorknob. Did you ever wonder how Tiger Woods got so good? One word — practice! And now every moment you spend on the porcelain goddess can be spent improving your game. Before long, you’ll be sinking puts from 8, 12, or even 16 inches away! Think what that will do for your confidence, not to mention your constipation! And you never have to worry about a water trap, because you’ll be sitting on top of it.

Dad’s form of hygiene

EMERGENCY BEARD GUARDS

Beards are all the rage right now, but as scientists have told us, they are also filthy. This pack of three sanitary beard covers will help protect the world from whatever is going on in that beard before the health department shows up and shuts it down for violations. It comes in a funny 3-3/4″ (9.5 cm) tall metal tin. Fits most normal beards, but not a ZZ Top. Twelve shrink wrapped tins in each illustrated display box.

Some Dads just need some extra motivation

BARBELL BEER GLASS

The elite beer drinkers know that lifting 24 oz at a time is the best way to get in shape for beer olympics. Shaped like a dumbell, this Beer Glass is for the heavyweight beer enthusiast. Simply find your favorite couch, pour, and curl up to your lips.

THE BEARD BEANIE

Instead of looking like a crazy person wearing a Ski-mask during cold winters, wear a more pleasant beanie! This beanie has extra material to keep those cheeks and chin warm and cozy, plus it looks like a knitted beard! When the weather isn’t as chilly you can remove the extra “beard” material and just rock a beanie, isn’t that awesome!

WORLD’S LARGEST SUPER FLASK

The Big Swig—aka The World’s Largest Super Flask—is here to get you through even the most boring family gathering, event, or mid-life crisis. It holds 2 gallons (that’s 7570 ml, or 250 fluid oz., or about 36 drunk-dials), and even has a captive top so that you don’t lose the cap.

Kill two birds with one stone this Fathers Day

SNORE STOPPER

Is your significant other keeping you awake due to decades of wear and tear on their nasal passages? Our new Snore Stopper is scientifically proven to stop snoring (Ha!). It requires NO prescription, NO batteries, and NO sympathy.